This is a public blog, but entries made on/before June 20, 2008 are friends-locked. Feel free to friend/watch; you don't need my permission. ♥ If you are here for the fiction or fanfic, it's over at apples_for_me. ^_^ I'm always open to discussions, but I am anti-spoilers. Please check my anime list and manga list if you want to know what I've watched/am watching!

Writing
I WROTE! *cheering* 1000+ words of Planeswalker! It may all end up getting trashed, but the fact of the matter is, I ACTUALLY STARTED ON THE BOOK! *dancing with happiness* I won't say the writer's block is gone--that seems to invite trouble. The text is horribly rough, and I've already marked out some big sections that need complete rewrites. But there they are, an estimated 1000+ words, handwritten. They need to be typed and edited, but they are there. ♥

Work
And on top of that, I have a Saturday off! Joy of joys, I actually have a day off on a Saturday! *bouncing off the walls with joy* I love my boss, he actually decided to come in on Saturday so I could take the day off he'd forgotten to allot to me when I went to the USA (and I didn't want to give up the day just like that--it's paid holiday and they're hard to come by). If my friends aren't free, I'll probably go computer-shopping in Akihabara--I need a clunker to type on and will take anything with an English keyboard (or buy one).

*hearts*
Writing is happening. I have some vacation time. Life is good. ♥

Zettai Kareshi
OMG, Night. *hugs him* But YAY! *cries*

Stress
How to know if one is stressed--one's period is irregular. *has been waiting a while...*

Work
You know what? F*ck it. Stupid strike, stupid covers, stupid whatever. If there is a strike and I'm working an office, I have to cover it anyway, so it's not like I have a choice in the matter. I'm not going to refuse offices when they're given to me. And if they don't like that? Tough. I'm sick and tired of trying to keep my head down. It's affecting my job, dammit.

Writing
Free time tomorrow--probably getting more done on PW then. I don't know what's going on in my head, but there's so much mixed up in me that I just can't think straight. Maybe I can if I'm working or away from my room, I don't know. *sighs*

Spinning Around
Currently I'm happiest when I'm writing. Not when I'm teaching, not when I'm doing anything else (well, other than hanging out with friends, but that's pretty rare when everyone is so busy). I'm happiest when I'm writing. I'm going to have to figure out how to do this typing thing at work when I'm not even allowed to use the computers. (Or, well, I do use the computers, but not like that.) I already carry around three notebooks--I suppose I should just make it four, and carry one that actually has writing in it. Like, writing writing. *puts it in her bag*

JRR Tolkien wrote Lord of the Rings by hand. Planeswalker probably isn't likely to be completely written by hand, but I need to get things done--I want to get things done. That first scene isn't going to get written unless I write it.

Maybe I will get that cheap laptop and keep it at work after all. We'll see. Anything will do, as long as it can save text files on a USB drive. But first, to actually write. If I buy the laptop and I end up doing no work on it, that's no good either. I just hope I don't end up needing to tote my keyboard to and fro. If I start getting RSI from that laptop, though, I might. *sigh* We'll see. One could just buy a small cheap USB keyboard. Or one of those fold-up ones. Or something. I don't know. I'm not in my right mind.

Wasn't I Supposed To Be On A Writing Hiatus?
link621 reminded me it's going to be July in less than a week. I really need to have Sinfonia Cantabile spruced up. The more I look at it, the more I feel like it's too short, I should fill in the blanks, there's so much more I can put in it... but at the same time, I am looking at it and going, "It's 1700 words now, and I don't want to deal with it being 17,000 words." *sighs* I don't know what to do anymore.

Marathoning a Marathon
I want to watch the 100-song marathon so badly, but I just don't have time. *sigh* I don't even have time to reply to a long e-mail. What's wrong with me?

Planeswalker
On the other hand, today I covered about five pages by hand. Maybe more, since I know there were two pages in Notebook #2 and more than three pages in the Character Bible. I'll count later when I scan them to send them to my wonderful betas.

I'm beginning to hit a brick wall where beta work is concerned--there's just too much for them to go over, and I do believe the time of concept betas is coming to an end now that the magic system is mostly worked out. In the future I suppose instead of scans I'll send selective logic checks and what-ifs. I'll look over what I have today and see if today is one of those type-it-out days.

My hand hurts. *wince* Too much writing. But oh, how glorious it is to feel this way. ♥

千字文
tarigwaemir posted a link to 千字文, but it was unfortunately in Korean. So here, for my own reference, is 千字文 in Chinese (plus explanations, notes, and other references--what a treasure trove).

Work
I have to admit, writing reports is better than teaching.

Writing
A book a year? O_o I think not, especially while teaching full-time. (Not from me, anyway.) How boring, only writing one thing all year! And how exhausting! Why would I want to burn myself out like that when I love writing? There are only so many things one can do for fun that don't cost very much (in terms of money).

Planeswalker
On the advice of tons of writing books and writers/agents who dispense advice on the web, I've been trying to structure PW in my head based on starting in the middle. And you know what? Without showing Renoa putting aside a life-long dream as he tries to settle into a new role (and at the same time showing people's expectations, hopes, and other things tied to being a planeswalker), I just can't write the rest of the story and expect people to piece all the information together without being infodumpy. Not the way things stand, anyway. Dammit, this is what I hate most about work. Now that I want to sit down and try to write it, I have to leave for work.

Money Money Money
My father currently pays my mother 40% of the alimony he ought to, and you know what, I don't care anymore. Will vent on f-only journal. [ETA: Spent the night arguing with father over the phone and then talking with mother after (while she avoided calls from my father). We can tell whose side of the divorce I'm on. All I can say is, I'm tired of this. But whatever. I didn't even eat dinner--at least I can buy stuff from the supermarket near work once I get off for lunch around 2pm. In the meantime, I knew that can of cup-a-soup would come in handy.]

On E-books
You know, when I buy e-books, they just sit there on my PDA/computer. When I buy real books, they do the same. So except for not gathering dust, what good is an e-book again? *sheepish* (Really have to finish reading something...)

Reading With My Beta Mode On
Nowadays, when I read, I have inner-beta on, and it's so hard to please when it sees a problem. I hate that, because I'll be enjoying a book, and then poof! A problem of some sort appears (pacing, description, strange turn of phrase, Mary-Sue-prose, or anything else that happens to send up a red flag). Suddenly I find I'm no longer adventuring in New Tokyo, or sitting by the campfire, or standing next to someone's motorcycle. Instead, I'm very aware of my real-world position (probably on the bed with the book, or else in the teacher's room), and all too aware that I had been enjoying myself and got kicked out. When this happens enough times, I get really disappointed and feel like it was a waste of money.

The best books kick me out less than three times. Think about how many words a novel is (about 70k, probably more), and then about how many perfect sentences and paragraphsa there have to be. Hmm, so this is why I can't write anymore. Beta mode needs to turn off, but ARGH.

Voice-Posting
Thanks to everyone who commented and said I had a nice voice! I just wish voiceover companies thought the same. ^_^; Thanks for transcribing, monitorscreen. ♥

Sleep
Seems like 9:30am is the new default. I really have to go to bed earlier. >_< You'd think I would learn my lesson. How can I write if I don't get enough sleep?

Superstition Is For... Writers
I'm also starting to think investing in a compass and moving things around for feng shui every year is a good idea. At the very least, I need to move my desk and face a good direction. I wonder if that's what's been bothering me, because since I moved my table and everything, output has dried up, and my best work has been done away from it. A compass isn't expensive, and I should be able to find feng shui references somewhere on the internet for me... right? (I hate the bank colleague who borrowed my feng shui book and never gave it back. ARGH. Never ever lend books to colleagues.) [ETA: Nine quadrants found, and I also found the chart that rotates the quadrants according to my birth number.]

Meta
Coming up, one meta post!

Books
I just bought Watership Down, Neuromancer, volume #20 of Nodame Cantabile (Japanese tankoubon), and the Hikaru no Go Gorgeous Character Guide (Japanese raw). Now I won't feel bad about scanning the book (and possibly breaking the spine), and I was going to really abuse that book anyway. cienna's copy will stay safe. *ponders the feasibility of breaking the book spine and wonders if she should*

Questioning the f-list--here, have a poll!
Poll #1210850
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

Should Ai buy another copy of the Hikaru no Go Gorgeous Character Book for the express purpose of debinding, scanning, and translating it?

Roleplaying
*facepalms* Tezuka's only just checked the f-list. Oh man, two-week-old entries he had to reply to, too! *groans*

Characterization
I need to be more secure, dammit. I know I have a distinct Tezuka. I know he is actually considered "good" (I mean, come on, someone I didn't know recced my Tezuka to aishuu). So why is it I still worry about his characterization? Note to self: never ever ask about how well one characterizes favorite muses if you can't handle a negative answer.

Fragile Minds
Bloody hell, I'm stronger than this. >_< I can do it. I will do it. I know people say it shouldn't be forced, but... 2008 is half gone, and what do I have to show for my efforts? I don't want to be one of those people who starts tons of things and never finishes a single one. That's useless.

The allure of co-writing with someone who actually manages to finish what they start is strong. But someone like that wouldn't want to bother working with me...

ETA: Livejournal
Dammit, LJ, send me my comments. I'm already on the cusp of "hmm, should I renew or not?"--please do not give me a reason not to renew, hmm?

Google Book Search
Google Book Search has "previews", but some of these books are complete in their entirety! Oh my. ♥ The politics section in particular is rather full of complete books, which makes me a very happy camper. However, the site that really makes me happy is Forgottenbooks.org, which has, apparently, thousands of older books.

Writing
I wrote 200 more words on Pearly Gates, and I am much happier with its progress! ♥ Not because those were 200 excellent words, no. It's because the block is broken--I didn't even feel as if I'd written 200 words! YES! I knew there was something off about the prose I had down, but I hadn't been able to find the problem before, though I'd been over it so many times the writer in me was sick of it. Then today I looked back at it, reading with my beta mode turned on, and suddenly there it was, the problem, right before my eyes. Self-beta is an incredibly useful thing. *hearts it* And the block is gone gone GONE! [Edit: Celebrated too early. ^_^;;; But it's okay. Now there is hope. And I shall work on something else that needs tweaking! Note to self: becoming too self-aware is a bad thing, because once you pull away to celebrate, you can't get back into the mood again. REMEMBER THIS and don't make the same mistake twice, okay?]

This gives me a lot of information about how I write. I'm not one of those authors who lays down tons of words, and then goes back to edit. I just can't work that way--every so often I have to turn back and tweak. I have a mental voice that tells me, "Bank," every so often, and once it's said that, that's it, I can't write any more until I've gone back, read the whole thing again from the beginning (or at least, the last chapter break), and then edited it to within an inch of kingdom come.

It's said that one shouldn't edit while writing the first draft of a novel, and that one should just keep writing, keep going, and not stop until the first draft is done. Then (and only then) should one go back and edit. But I believe I'm not going to be doing Planeswalker that way. It's not the way I write. I can't spot something imperfect and not go back to it, because it niggles and eats away at me, driving me crazy until I fix the darned thing. Only when I know a problem is fixed can I then happily move on in good conscience. I wonder if this is the INTP in me, the loner who does everything the hard way by insisting on re-inventing the wheel... or maybe it's just the OCD?

Anyway. Back to PG2. Hopefully better progress now that the block is smashed to little bits. ^_^ [Edit: Nope, still there. *goes to poke at Sinfonia some more, is now insecure because it now seems like one of those "I could see it coming from a mile away" fics*]

ETA: Reading
I have been reading online (thank goodness for e-books). I am only sad that I can't get this downloaded and onto an e-reader--it was published in 1882, so why? T_T

ETA2: Reading Meme
Taken from harumi, though I've seen it in many places!
The Big Read thinks that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they've printed. Well let's see.

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicise those you intend to read
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your own LJ so we can try and track down these people who've read 6 and force books upon them ;-)


( Read more... )

Only 55/100. ^_^; Okay, time to read more.

Writing
Woke up at 9:30, attempted to write but did not succeed. I've got two lines. Perhaps it's the story. *puts Pearly Gates away for the moment* I'll check e-mail and get some food in my stomach--can't write on an empty stomach--and then try working on Kio for Planeswalker.

Cumulative Wordcount, 2008 So Far
Only 16,650+ words since January 1st, 2008. It's only 19,750 words with Crossing Boundaries 7; 21,450 words with Sinfonia Cantabile. Last year I clocked in at 144k words, and that was before one included Tohoku's 1200 words. *sighs* World-building wordcount does not count, but I doubt it's very much more than 5k. Either I'm going to have to write a lot more, or I'm going to have to forget finishing Planeswalker this decade.

Planeswalker
For some strange reason, I can't seem to focus on PW anymore. Perhaps it's just the empty stomach. If I'm full I should be much more capable of concentrating.

Customizing Firefox
Oh my. Lifehacker's got some great ideas on how to tweak Firefox to my liking. Also, I really really REALLY wish Cookiepie had been around some time back when I still had two or three Gmail accounts, because I would never have bothered with AUOne.jp if I had gotten the ability to log into two or three Gmail accounts simultaneously.

Makoto Shinkai
BFI in Southbank (screening plus interview) write-up, for those of you who are interested in Makoto Shinkai. He's going to live in London until the end of 2008, and then move back to Tokyo to work on his next film. I wonder what sort of theme London will give him. ^_^

Fandom: Hikaru no Go
*writes a surprisingly long rant, and then deletes it before the entry is posted* [ETA: ... you guys. *doesn't know whether to laugh or hide* Yes, I told you all it was horrible and wanky. Why do you think I didn't post it?]

Got A Clean Bowl?
Every time I want to use a bowl, a spoon, a fork, or anything, I think, "Oh, I just washed a bunch of them two days ago, and I haven't used any. The sink's clear now so I'm sure there's a clean one left." Invariably I end up having to wash up before I cook, which is exactly what I wanted to avoid when I did the dishes much earlier. *not a happy camper*

OCD Redux
I never thought of myself as obsessively clean. ontogenesis and everyone else who has visited my place can attest to this. I am neat because it's the best way to be (and so I can find my things). It saves time and energy. I can plan around neatness. I don't want to have to re-assess everything every time I make a plan of some sort. But whenever my roommates leave messes behind, I always seem to be the one running into them. ARGH.

The Trials Of Living With Others
What's the point of doing everyone else's dishes all the time? As if I didn't have anything better to do. This has been going on for months, and I'm not going to wash dishes to clear the sink anymore. I pretended not to notice when it was winter, because the water's cold to the point of pain in the winter. I can understand avoiding a chore that causes pain. But bloody hell, it's summer and the water in the pipes is no longer freezing cold. DO YOUR OWN BLOODY DISHES.

Best part? Both of them do it. *sighs and just curls up in a little ball* Also, is it really that much effort to soak one's dishes so the food washes off easily? Bad enough I do the dishes for everyone, do I also have to scrub them unsuccessfully? *tears hair out* You guys are supposed to be mature adults. In fact, one of you is over thirty, and the other is pushing it. I'm the youngest one in the apartment. Why do I have to teach you how to do this?

My Writing, My Go
I was re-reading Untroubled Sky just because I had quoted Isumi in my previous entry and wanted to make sure I'd gotten him right (yup, verbatim). And then I realized just where the story had come from: writing.

Writing is like playing go. Everyone is born with varying amounts of talent, whether it be inventiveness, a sharp mind, keen observational skills, or a way with words. We start at different ages, some of us playing go writing as soon as we learn to hold a go stone pencil, others only beginning in high school, college, or their first few years of work; some of us begin after starting a family. We take different approaches to practice and studying, some of us more diligent than others. Some people read a lot of kifubooks; others play a lot of go write a lot. Some find rivals, mentors, or study groups writing/beta circles, others take go writing classes. Some take others under their wings and hope to learn something as they coach their proteges.

Some of us become insei begin to develop original work, whether of our own volition or pushed into it by others, and start moving towards becoming a pro getting published; others continue playing writing in amateur tournaments magazines or have fun at the local go salon write lots of fanfic. It's not an easy road. Some become discouraged and drop out; some of those become journalists, organizers agents, or sponsors editors. Some hit losing streaks writer's block. Some people seem to win tons of games write tons of stories effortlessly, while others wear their fingers to the bone trying to get into Class One earn some recognition and win the right to compete in the Young Lions' Tournament get noticed.

Not all of us will pass the pro exam get published. Some of us graduate without passing give up after enough years have passed, and others continue to try until they're thirty dead. Even if we pass the pro exam get our first book published, it isn't clear whether or not that will be our first and last significant victory publication. We compete with each other for titles industry awards. Some may be content to stay as they are with one title book to their name. Some may lose heart and do questionable things like sell fake gobans plagiarize. Some will retire early because they get tired of it all. However, most of us will continue to hone our skills. Some of us just want to keep getting better and better, and to find out just how good a game of go book they are capable of, and there will always be some of us who constantly strive towards The Hand Of God literary immortality.

We all play go write for our own reasons. Some of us just want some fun. Some of us like the feel of go stones pen and paper/keyboard. Some of us feel satisfaction at a good game played good story written. Some of us secretly (or not so secretly) seek titles critical acclaim or The Hand Of God literary immortality. Some play go write because other people do. Some of us do it because we just can't stop.

Why do you play go write?


ETA: Writers
Courtesy of moonsliver, some words I could really use whenever I feel down:

Writers are people who write. By and large, they are not happy people. They're not good at relationships. Often they're drunks. And writing -- good writing -- does not get easier and easier with practice. It gets harder and harder -- so eventually the writer must stall out into silence. The silence that waits for every writer and that, inevitably, if only with death (if we're lucky the two may happen at the same time: but they are still two, and their coincidence is rare), the writer must fall into is angst-ridden and terrifying - and often drives us mad. (In a letter to Allen Tate, the poet Hart Crane once described writing as "dancing on dynamite.") So if you're not a writer, consider yourself fortunate.

-- Samuel Delaney, On Writing

Tricked!
Dear achariya, that was a dirty trick! Now I have Carameldansen on the brain, and I am seriously thinking of ways to get the MP3. *facepalms* Oh CRAP.

*cheers*
Looks like kevinsensei will finally rejoin us here in Japan. Are you sure you want to be an April Fool, Kevin? *laughs* Anyway, let me know what you're doing and if you need help settling in again!

Livejournal
Apparently there is a Livejournal Content Strike. It starts at 9am on Friday and goes to 9am Saturday, I suppose. *sighs* Considering how dependent on Livejournal I am for my social circle, I'm not sure whether I want to join it.

My F-List Is Unique
Wow, all the votes for PWP and smut. You guys. *chuckling* Is my smut really all that hot? I definitely remember someone else telling me it wasn't.

Musing About Plagiarism, aka "When Is It Re-Telling, And When Is It Copying?"
Both this post (thanks to issen4 for the link) and this one talk about the line between fanfiction and plagiarism. Reading the posts (and doing a bit of link-surfing on my own) reminded me of Planeswalker. There are similarities, the biggest one being that the book in the post was originally a fanfic dusted off to become an original. It touched a nerve, and we all know what Ai does when she's looking to procrastinate.

( About 1000 words worth of soapboxing under the cut. HnG spoilers for the insei examination arc and beyond. )

Look At The Time
Good lord, I need to stop soapboxing. It's 4pm and I've done nothing but watch Hungry Heart Wild Striker all day (except for this entry and some LJ comments). I have in my hands Stein on Writing, delivered today--I'll be reading that before settling down with more background work. It IS my day off, though, and I do need a bit of a rest, so I shouldn't feel so bad about not working on PW or anything else.

ETA: One Million Words
thephoenixboy, considering I can do 1000 words of meta on a semi-regular basis at the drop of a hat, and I've been writing offline for years, I suppose I'm closer to one million words than I originally thought?

ETA2: Thank god for IRC archives. Now I can get the final three episodes in two hours instead of nine.

On Betas
Inspired by a post by mmorpgsforlife. When you think of a beta, what do you think of? Copy editing has its place, but what the writing world (and most writers need/crave) are good editors. We call them good betas, here in the world of fanfiction.

( This got a little long. )

^_^;;; Wow. That was long. Sorry Sparky, that was a bit of TL;DR. But when one sees the opportunity to tell things from this side of the fence, it's so very hard to resist that soapbox ...

ETA: I have to hasten to say that this is only true for me! O_o I don't know how other writers do this. I know one writer I beta for, ontogenesis, has a slightly different process from me. She thinks a lot more about her plot and characters before she even comes to me, and sometimes she just shows up with a few thousand words and goes, "Okay, your turn." However, I'm a very conversational type of writer. I don't write in isolation. I've tried it, and I can't--I fail horribly when that happens. Like I said, this is my point of view from my side of the fence. ^_^ That's all.

Also, I have to emphasize that not all my fics get this treatment. ^_^;;; For example, Tohoku was very much a mostly-narrative-beta sort of fic. Caramel took a LOT of concept-beta-ing, but minimal narrative-beta. His Grandfather's Dragon was very much a mash that needed a lot of narrative work and scrutiny, but Promise was so short nothing much was changed after the first draft hammered out. (There was another one for the Dragons AU that came out to a draft of 1000+ words. It did not survive beta and died.)

(Backdated.) This is a public entry for the purpose of hosting a poll (because I can't post polls to my community). Please feel free to check out apples_for_me or the post on this poll here!

( Seven questions under the cut )

Please feel free to comment on anything at all, even (especially) if it's not covered by the poll. Comments are screened! I have also temporarily turned on anonymous commenting, so you may be anonymous if you like.

Thank you SO MUCH for participating in the poll. I hope this helps lead to better fic you'll enjoy even more!